thinsiqnificant:

my mom bought me a camouflage sweater today and i was like mom why did u do that and she said “so u can go hunting for men”

(via fake-mermaid)

(via beautyfullvibes)

basedlean:

boyful:

ma ride

versacetits booty game too strong watch 4 em

(via b0mbshell101)

clestroying:

clestroying:

What do you call a cheap circumcision?

A rip off

(via finsforlegs)

Creativity is knowing how to hide your sources

Albert Einstein (via feellng)

(via finsforlegs)

(via thisisnotmyfairytaleendingg)

A teacher of mine met him [Robert Downey Jr.] on a plane to LAX. She didn’t recognize him until after they had already talked and he had fallen asleep. She said she pretended that she didn’t know him after that and he talked to her for the rest of the flight, asking about her life, never mentioning himself once.

(x)

(via finsforlegs)

lokiloo:

My Buddhist friend was stopped by a Christian fellowship and asked if she would consider following the word of Jesus Christ. She replied, “No, thanks, but maybe next time around.”

I don’t think they got the joke but I nearly died laughing.

(via iamthepureblindraven)

(via faintfamiliarity)

teenytigress:

SO THIS GUY IN MY ENGLISH IS DOING A PROJECT FOR BIO WHERE HE GETS A DUCKLING TO IMPRINT ON HIM SO HE JUST CARRIES IT AROUND WITH HIM TO ALL OF HIS CLASSES AND I SWEAR THIS DUCK IS THE MOST WELL BEHAVED FUCKING POULTRY IVE EVER SEEN IT JUST SITS ON HIS DESK QUIETLY AND SOMETIMES HE PUTS IT IN HIS POCKET AND IT JUST SLEEPS LIKE WOW YOU GO DUCKY

(via lohanthony)

(via faintfamiliarity)

popularboyfriend:

guy:

*slides you $20* pls stop ignoring me

hey look a $20 bill

(via peterswebmemhi)

(via faintfamiliarity)

heckacute:

I touch myself whenever I think about you. More specifically, I rub my temples because I get a headache because you’re awful. 

(via iamthepureblindraven)

d0nn0:

i love Ellen Degeneres

(via guccier)